Sex: Let’s Get Playful!
Playfulness in bed is crucial. Not just for fun, for consent as well.
Let’s try it like this.
Let’s try it over here.
Ever done it in an aeroplane? Ever done it on a pier?
Not sure if I like it but let’s give it a go.
Never had my ass licked, but you never kno —
– ooooooooo ooo, o
I write a lot about sexual violence and why we need to fight rape culture. A lot of it is very depressing, as much to write as to read, because the reality of sexual abuse is very depressing. Luckily, the solution isn’t. Because the fact is, fighting against rape means fighting for sex. Good sex. And for me, a big part of that is developing our playfulness in bed.
Far too often, sex is treated as a performance. Each person trying to impress the other, and generally, when it comes to hetero sex, we try to impress each other in very gendered ways. The guy by his action, his assertiveness, his ability to lead. The woman by her looks, and her passivity — what she “lets” a guy do to her. She’s “let him” do anal. She’ll “let him” come in her mouth. She’ll “let him” fuck her…
