The Revolutionary Power of The Female Friendship

Female Friendships vs. The World

Stark Raving

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Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

My girlfriends are like my feminist lifecoachs, in that they remind me, when I badly need to be reminded, that I am allowed to apply feminism to my own life. That I have value. And that as well as fighting for women, for every other woman, I am also allowed to fight for myself. My friendships are a feminist force, and some of the most important, deep, relationships of my life. They feel, sometimes, like my very foundation.

I am on the road again. I’ve left Paris, after talking for so long about doing it. So I’ve just gone through a few weeks of goodbyes, to places and faces, and it really brought home to me just how important those friendships are to me — how they are so much a part of me that I’d taken them for granted, hadn’t even realised I was leaving them, and how beautiful the love between me and my female friends is. I realised how much I would miss our moments of gossiping, getting angry about sexism, encouraging each other not to accept less than we deserve, helping each other know how to react to a society which still doesn’t like women… I realised, and it elevated me, how wonderful it was to have women who are there for me, and a kind of kindness that takes my breath away each time, and an amount of love that is just not quantifiable. I don’t know how female friendships came to be labelled toxic, because, really, in the face of the patriarchy, they are revolutionary.

I am lucky enough to have absolutely amazing women in my life. So many that I sometimes look around and am blown away by the greatness gap between the men and the women I know. Because my girlfriends are all intersectional feminists that want to change the world and I know there are loads of guys like that out there, but many of the ones around me are flawed by their privileges. They just don’t measure up to the women in my life. I’m not saying women are inherently better. Just that I sometimes wonder whether men who are white, and heterosexual men, and who haven’t suffered any other form of oppression, can really empathise with those less privileged. Whether they can actually understand what it feels like to live in a system of oppression, and never be able to escape it.

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Stark Raving

Intersectional feminism and environmental issues. Let’s make the world a kinder, more sustainable place. Support my work! https://starkraving.medium.com/members