This is Not a Battle of the Sexes

My Fight Is Against the Patriarchy, Not Against Men

Stark Raving
4 min readFeb 20, 2020


Photo by Josh Kahen on Unsplash

Feminism is not a battle of the sexes. It never has been.

Feminism is the fight against a rigid system of gender norms that dictate who we can be, and then places one entire half of the population as inferior to the other.

As a feminist, my fight is not against men, but against a patriarchal system that keeps women oppressed for the benefit of men — whilst creating such strict gender norms that neither girls nor guys can actually be happy with the situation as it is.

I am not a man-hater. I do not resent men for having being born to a position of privilege over women — they did not ask for it any more than I did. The only thing I will call out is when men’s behaviour continues to perpetuate the system. Because at the end of the day, how things are isn’t anyone’s fault but how things can be is the responsibility of each and every one of us. A system is made up of individuals, nothing more.

I feel it necessary to write this piece as a reminder that, when I denounce sexism or sexist behaviours, I am not attacking men.

Some friends and acquaintances have recently been offended by my feminism, telling me they felt personally attacked. Now, a few of them were clearly just using this excuse to bring the attention back to themselves. Playing the victim is a good way to put an end to all conversation and bring the focus back to you, even when you were the one in the wrong. Suddenly you find yourself comforting someone for having called them a creep, even though the real problem is that they had been consistently sexualizing you throughout your conversation and getting a little too touchy even after you had clearly laid out boundaries.

But let’s assume some men make this argument in good faith. As much as I hate having to take time out of actually fighting against all the horrible things that happen to women so as to comfort men who are devastated at the suggestion they might be horrible, I feel like there is very little chance of making progress if this fight is seen as a men vs. women kind of a fight.

For starters, the idea of a battle of the sexes reinforces the notion of biological sex as being determinating in…



Stark Raving

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